The cost of falling
by monkeygirl77
Summary: Samael changed when Lucifer fell. That look in his eyes, that 'please kill me no' after you've lost everything; full of pain and sadness, is one that will haunt Michael for the rest of his life.


**I just can't help but wonder how Lucifer's fall would effect his charge, Samael. So this popped into mind.**

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The eldest had been fighting for decades now. It had escalated until they were at each others throats almost every minutes of every day now. Michael and Lucifer were always shouting, screaming, beating. They were so focused to their argument that they never realized how it could effect the ones around them.

Gabriel tried to ignore them as much as possible, often stayed hidden away somewhere only he and Castiel knew, Raphael did the same with Samandriel. Despite what everyone thought, Raziel and Samael remained good friends.

They ignore the looks shot their way as they passed the libraries or the gardens or the healers. Admittedly they were frightened seeing their guardians so angry, their graces like blinding lights constantly beating against each other. Even though they hid it rather well for their age, the felt every injury the bond someone got a feather pulled out they felt it, when they got a good lick in with a sword they'd bleed too.

Sometimes only the lucky ones got to finally see the constant fighting get to the little archangels. They'd be found by Raphael or Gabriel, sometimes Joshua, curled up in tiny balls bawling their eyes out. They were still younger, not anywhere near being younglings yet, and it was like their graces were being torn to shreds.

There was nothing those lucky few could do to help them either, they could only hold them close and try to take some of the pain away. Even though this was all happening the two still remained friends. One not far from the other. They'd cry together, hide together, hold on to each other, like they had before everything had started to go downhill.

They had been playing in the gardens when it happened. Samael froze, like a statue, startling Raziel and Castiel. His eyes widened in silent shock and he took off sprinting as fast as he could towards the gates. Raziel and Castiel exchanged looks before chasing after their friend. When they finally caught up they followed as Samael pushed himself through the crowd rather easily.

The others practically separated for him to pass. They were stopped by hands on the back of their robes. Some Gardeners they recognized fisted the back of the white robes lightly albeit firmly to keep them in place. Samael was just a foot away from them, stock still, mouth and eyes agape.

Everyone looked between Michael and Lucifer to Samael. When Gabriel and Raphael's eyes landed on the fledgling they widened in shock. Nobody should have to witness this let alone the other half of the bond. They didn't move though, they couldn't.

Every stood in the exact place they stood in and didn't move an inch as Michael looked down at Lucifer. The blonde archangel was on his knees, blood pouring from his wings and and gashes. they watched as he begged Michael to just listen, to see reason. But the Eldest wasn't having it.

His face set in grim determination he shook his head and in a voice so low it had never graced the archangels lips before in his life, sentenced Lucifer for treason against Heaven. By the order of their father and the disobedience to his word Lucifer was to be cast out, to the pit, and locked there for all time. He would be cut off from the song of Heaven, bonds and everything he held dear would be cut away and severed.

There was a pause, one where Samael hoped and prayed to father that they would see reason. That this wasn't going to happen. But no answer came. Samael screamed, finally gaining attention to himself. He screamed and tears fell from his eyes in layers as he ran forward. He would go with him, he couldn't be alone.

He'd jump.

But the dark haired fledgling never got close enough.

Someone lifted him off the ground and held him for dear life. He was stuck crying and screaming, squirming and clawing at Gabriel's arms as he held him back. He cried and begged and screamed for Michael not to do it, to stop, just see reason. That Lucifer didn't mean it, he was just a hot-head sometimes.

Michael didn't even acknowledge him and in a blinding light and loud screeching Lucifer was cast out. Samael's voice became hoarse from screaming and he stuck to sobbing and begging quietly to stop it, make it go away.

He escaped from Gabriel's hold and dodged Raphael's as he ran for Michael. Falling to his knees and fisting the bottom of his robes in his tiny fist Samael begged him.

"P-Please Mikey! Br-Bring him back! Pl-Please!"

Michael shook his head and shook him off gently. Lucifer had disobeyed, he said, and needed to be punished for it. The look that Samael had when he did would never be forgotten. He left Samael there a sobbing mess. Left Gabriel and Raphael looking sadly at the tiny fledgling who had just lost everything. Left Raziel and Castiel and Samandriel to watch their friend breakdown right before their eyes. It wouldn't be until night when Gabriel would finally scoop Samael up into his arms and carry him back to his rooms with Castiel.

Samael had never been the same.

After the fall, everything and everybody changed. Gabriel left, nobody knew to where, Castiel was left crying his eyes out in the gardens. Begging Gabriel to come back. Michael had become hard, strict and orderly. Raziel had been found shell-chocked after he had messed up during training. All he kept repeating was how Mikey had threatened to send him to Naomi should he mess up once again. Samandriel stayed as far from Raphael as he could, as he like everyone else had become fearful of the once gentle healer. Father had disappeared.

But nobody was as bad off as Samael. He was ridiculed and made fun of. Left behind and the subject of cruel jests. Someone had pained his wing once and he went crazy. Sent the poor seraph to the infirmary for a broken wing, concussion, and seven broken ribs.

Samael stayed with Castiel in his empty rooms, along with Raziel and Samandriel, because he just couldn't go back into Lucifer's anymore. The first time he had he broke down crying and someone had to carry him out. Samael stayed as far away from Michael as he could, but in the end he was part of the host and had to report to the call that had been sent out for all to report.

The first second his eyes landed on the hardened archangel all his pent up anger finally exploded. He jumped at him in a flurry of midnight wings and fists. Catching Michael off guard they both toppled to the ground. Someones arms wrapped around his waist and hoisted him of their leader. Joshua bid a silent apology but Samael kept screaming.

"YOU KILLED IT! YOU RUINED MY LIFE! EVERYTHING YOU RUINED IT! HOW COULD YOU OD THIS TO US- TO ME!"

Samael disappeared that night and was never seen in Heaven again. Raziel left shortly after him. Samandriel following and then Castiel behind him. The four never left one behind.

**Decades later***

Castiel had aligned himself with the Winchesters. Raziel was a no show anymore. Samandriel was someone where on Earth, that's all he knew. And Samael... Nobody really knew...

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**So! What did you think! Hope you liked it!**


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